On Human Sexual Aggression
Greetings, it is good to be with you again. There are thousands of lessons we should have learned by now. Our sexuality is one of them. Why do we make the same mistakes over and over again century after century, eon after eon? The truth is " we still do not fully understand our sexuality." It is far more powerful than most realize. This ignorance forces many to lie about our true feelings. Feelings about which we're been conditioned to lie. At one time or another, sexuality makes fools, even of the wise.
There are about 8.7 million species on this planet. Roughly 1.3 million are already cataloged. And most of them want to mate so badly that often their "sex drive" costs them their very lives! This "line-up" includes all Mammals, (Man) Birds, Reptiles, Fish, Amphibians, and Arthropods. This also gives some "insight" as to why Man can have such difficulty containing his sex-drive.
It seems "whoever or whatever" is responsible for "Life- Creation" on Planet Earth did not want to have to 'do it again.' Sexuality (in all genres) is masterfully designed to "perpetuate itself" under every conceivable circumstance. If that's true, all the Holy Books, Psychiatrists, and Mothers in the world can stop trying to "prevent" sexual activity. (It can't be done) It may be part of an ingenious"Automatic" reproductive system designed to slow or "defeat" all who would attempt to control it.
* Even Presidents, Senators, Governors, and Mayors have 'succumbed' to its prowess. Many without premeditation. For some, self-denial can be elusive. Professional help may be called for*
There is no human substance or set of hormones more powerful or forceful than the sexual ones. When these hormones emit their signals telling one to "relieve," some of their surplus supply, there is little one can do but either find a suitable sexual partner or "masturbate." (Arguments not accepted) if one doesn't comply soon,both male and female (during primal years ~ 16-35) will have "wet-dreams". (Nocturnal Emissions) These emissions will occur until the 'Endocrine System' becomes accustomed to 'sexual inactivity'. Masturbation, (a natural activity) is not easily controlled, even by decisions of self-denial or "vows of celibacy." Sexual activity (of some kind) is almost involuntary.
The average male (Homo-sapiens) is endowed(from birth) with a sex drive more 'spontaneous,' aggressive, and easily 'satisfied' than that of the female. Why? Because*reproduction* is of primary concern to the human 'balance' on the Earth, and 'sperm is cheap.' The average female if pregnant, usually can have but one child every 9 months. If all Homo sapiens childbirth stopped to wait for her to conceive again we'd all be extinct by now. Herein lies the problem with the "one man, one woman" theory. The math for an 8 billion world population doesn't add up with a nine- month male "celibacy" period. What is going on?"Natural reproduction. "
Please remember, Man, Bonobo, Chimpanzee, Gorilla, and Orangutan are all promiscuous"Primates!" (To name but a few) Only the Gibbon is monogamous by nature. The average virile young male can theoretically impregnate about 730 women a year. (2 females/day) If we factor in decreasing fertility levels for time and age, (16-50) he could still impregnate over 12,000 women by the time he turns 50. But the average individual female can only bear him one child (each year) in the same 34-year period. I'm not condoning promiscuity or saying this actually happens. I'm just trying to show the reader what male sexual aggression is capable of. (And what monogamy is up against)
Was it the intention of the designer to prohibit the Man from "visiting" other females during her 'down time?' (As they've done throughout human history) Or are we (in reality) just another type of promiscuous "animal" in a suit, or cute little dress? At first glance, the male Homo-sapiens physiology doesn't appear to be designed for complete monogamy. (Even though we take vows to the contrary) Perhaps(for the thoughtful among us) the 'inactive time' would give men enough pause to contemplate the *love* generated by a pregnancy. Beware, 'separation' also tends to make fools.
However, our psychological evolution is quite another matter. The sexual control mechanism in men and some women is no match for the physical demands applied by our hormones. The current standards of 'civilized' behavior causes many to become accustomed to "lying" about relationships or thoughts that are classified (in America) as illicit. Is this activity really just a'normal' bodily function, or is it 'always' grounds for divorce or separation? Do some of us literally 'throw away" otherwise good people because of unrealistic, "unnatural" standards? Or are we just 'listening' to the wrong information? Do we really want to separate? Or does our current society tell us we should?
The Cerebral Cortex (Human Brain) incorporates 80% of the brain. It recognizes ~ 300 million brain patterns. E.g. Vision, feelings, persuasion, and everything in-between. Of the complex patterns it controls are reactions to certain stimuli like sexual response. Unfortunately, these responses may differ a "great deal" from person to person. People develop very different responses to stimuli based on things like "looks and wealth." This is where the "unfairness of circumstance" can show its ugly presence. I remember when teaching a science class, one student complained that a certain man employed there had "harassed' her for a date. When asked if the man was impolite or rude, she answered "yes."
Well, the employee was immediately fired. About a week later I walked into a conference room for lunch (I thought was empty) when I noticed a man in a dark corner of the room "masturbating," with this same female sitting and watching. All she said to him was"O-h-o-o (name) you're so crazy!" ("And chuckled") The guy she'rebuked' the week before was short, fat and black. The masturbator was a tall, (I'd say) 'somewhat' "good looking" white man. The woman's response to each was totally'different.' Why? How "gross" was this act? The sexual needs of the "fat" individual had nothing to do with how he looked. What is one to do if one cannot'lawfully' get a date or a prostitute? Other than masturbation, our society currently has no answer or solution for this man or those seen as strongly 'unattractive.'
Peoples "brain patterns" are individual. No two people have"identical" reactions to everything. Like "artificial intelligence" (Software that writes itself) the brain continually searches its data base to find an acceptable solution for certain problems. Some solutions it may find are not legal according to our society. Herein lies a persistent problem. More and more people think "whatever they enjoy is their God- given right." There are far more 'my right' lawsuits today than in the past.
Today, if one is told they "cannot do this or that" they simply "sue" (in court) for that particular right. And nine times out of ten if it doesn't (physically) hurt anyone, they may eventually win that right. But what about the society at large? Shouldn't there still be some things one cannot do? There must be some things left in this world today we all still view with "loathing" besides the smell of stale urine, feces, rotten flesh, and green pus? With no standards some person will grow to like these offensive odors one day and sue to make them available at the corner store or supermarket. At the rate "taboos" are falling will all "norms" eventually disappear?
Human sexuality can potentially redesign the societal structural laws. In my view, there must be some kind of "barrier" beyond which we should not cross, if we plan to keep any "semblance" of the past intact. It appears (to me) some things should retain their *solemnness*, e.g., 86% of human societies permit their men to have more than one wife. Today, when we fall in love with someone, because of the 'indoctrinations' we learned from childhood, most (in America) would show war-like attitudes if asked to share their 'partner' sexually with someone else.
Each man and woman's sexuality is based on how they use their interpretation of the 300 million strong 'brain pattern' results on a given subject. These results may leave a concerned partner in a state of complete bewilderment. And the relationship may fail. One may have to avail themselves of some kind of professional 'counseling" to better understand what's going on and how to handle the related'stress.' It has been shown; "the more stress, the less Amygdala (brain) development." (In the unborn) If not addressed, stress can even kill.
I get mail from all over the world, usually about "science, longevity, sex, or the Hereafter." Look briefly at "life expectancy and sexual activity." The life expectancy of people in different countries varies. Not because of genetics, but (in my view) historical nutrition, available health care, and stress management. With a level "playing field" (which rarely exists anywhere) longevity would be fairly consistent. Stereotypical viewpoints exist primarily due to emotional arguments for continued prejudice. But sexually, 72% of men and 40% of women are active to ages in excess of 70. (This includes masturbation)
With many variables in the health of individuals, adequate health care does play a significant part in human longevity. In countries where racial discrimination and color prejudice occurs often, the life expectancy of the oppressed can be unnaturally reduced. In America for instance; At age 25, there is already a five-year "death gap" associated with people of color. Health care dollars and'cutting edge' medical expertise is usually appliedfirst to those who can afford it. Sexual disease is rampant among youth in poor countries due to a lack of education, hunger, and premature promiscuity.
At every level of education, Whites outlive Blacks and Hispanics. Whites live 3.4 years longer than their "darker" counterparts. Whites who have graduated from high school live 4.2 years longer than Blacks and Hispanics with a college (or higher) degree. In America 200 Blacks die every day from insufficient healthcare. Racial discrimination, color prejudice, and ignorance often plagues these minorities. A lack of respect and even personal denigration of value has taken its toll. This has been perpetuated by a lack of outward societal concern.
"Me Too"
*While the "Me To" movement has many valuable viewpoints, they should be very careful not to "feminize or regulate" men to the point of nonrecognition. Sexual aggression is genetic in the makeup of the male and is also present in the female. Without it human beings would become lethargic and "too lazy to mate". Species extinction would ultimately follow. The last thing we want to do is "upset the Man/Woman applecart." >97% of all species that once existed on Earth are now extinct. "Same Sex Marriage" (while legal, in America) will not increase or maintain population numbers. Some heterosexual aggression is necessary, even for the sexual union itself* (Instinctive nature: "The desire to get", vs. "The need togive" can both be considered aggressive behaviors. But both are necessary for natural reproduction) Attitudes to the contrary may be terminal, but this is fact. Am I being clear? - Henri W. Tartt, Chemist
Sexual potency, which has often been romanticized as a "poor man's pastime" has not suffered the same fate. Education, money, and status are not necessarily the answer to sexual dysfunction. With some men and women, (but especially women) depending on how one was raised, any time someone loves one of them more than they love themselves, it tends to turn them off. They can't seem to love kind, 'civil' people for long. (They seem to crave mistreatment ) These women (or men) were raised in an abusive household. (Father, boyfriend) And most people tend to gravitate towards what they're used to. But today, few tolerate "violence, threats, or physical abuse as in times gone by." Mainly because today, most realize " living with a fool is not living at all."
Human sexuality entails complex chemistry, psychology, and even psychiatry. At this point, all is not fully understood. But what is most misunderstood by many is this: we are "programmed" (from birth) for reproductive success. Sexuality is frequently described as a feverish hunt for 'rebirth.' About 2 million, 77 thousand couples (in U.S.) marry each year with reproduction in mind. A continuation of the species is 'genetic' in young minds. The human brain weighs about 3 lbs. It contains about 86 billion neurons;16 billion of which is located in the Cerebral Cortex. Only mammals have a Cerebral Cortex. And often sexuality tends not to use it.
*Everyone gets 'used to' everyone. Sexual desire wanes with time. What then? Love answers this question best. But if love was only lust, 'separation' (and replacement) follows, until time runs out*
The 'home' of human sexuality rests in the hypothalamus. It controls hormone release from the pituitary. From puberty, to well after middle age (or thereabout) the average human is on constant 'look out' for the 'easy orgasm.' (Achievable or not, one still looks) Psychological stimulation exists almost everywhere. And if one doesn't see it, onethinks about it. When the sex's finally do "get together" and have an orgasm, what they experience is physiologically and psychologically very similar. But what it takes to get them both to that point, often dissimilar 'brain pattern' desires or preferences lead to relationship difficulty. Sexual variation must be mutually agreed upon. Nothing should ever be forced!
The real problem is this: Remember, all people are still*animals*. Frequently pretending an 'uppity provenance' to appear 'above' their baser feelings. However, sexual activity causes hormones (neurotransmitters dopamine & endorphins) to be released by the Pineal Gland. This activity causes one to regress from, Cerebral Cortex influenced behavior to eons old 'brain stem' impulses. And not everyone wants to show their 'prehistoric' side to just 'anyone.' This manufacturing gland is located very near the brain stem, which controls very "primitive" emotional activity. In many cases, this impulsive behavior may not be easily controlled once allowed to progress past a certain stage.
The 'brain stem' (Reptilian Brain) existed before the Cerebral Cortex (which gives us our remarkable cognitive abilities) was fully developed. Yet it gave enough information to enable 'mating' to take place. These impulses have never left us. This is why during sexual excitement one 'turns' a bit'primitive.' Conversely, some people control themselves "right out" of an orgasm! These people are embarrassed by their feelings and live lives of unfulfilled frigidity. Some 'cheat' only with those thought to be 'less cognizant' of their "shameful ?" desires. Listen, "when you're hot you're hot, and when you're not you're not!" If one feels they are not in the mood for sex, they should not participate in foreplay of any kind. And any person that tries to force one to participate in unwanted sexual activity belongs in jail.
I cannot stress the point enough that no matter how we'd like to 'dress it up' the sexual act is a 'prehistoric, primal' behavior. Sexual desire takes us back to a time when 'etiquette' did not exist. And try as we might, some {usually men) have difficulty being restrained or 'refined' once sexually aroused. Give them a little 'leeway' before 'blowing the whistle.' In many cases our sexuality has not 'caught up' with a society of 'finessed' rules and regulations. That is not to say one should allow "cave man like" behavior, but sexual/orgasmic activity can be rather'uncivilized.' It may be prudent to remember, manners and'decorum' (at these times) may be increasingly ignored.(Caveat emptor) These have been a few 'basic' reasons why some men have more difficulty than others controlling 'sexual aggression.'
A conclusion is not necessarily a fact. It is simply a place to stop thinking. Reading something does not automatically make it so. And repeating it does not make it true. But during sexual excitement, impulses travel from the brain stem to the hormonal glands but may not quite make it completely up to the Cerebral Cortex. (Where common sense and judgement reside) All over the world, people have similar reactions. Some of the issues we've discussed should help in understanding our general sexuality.
One will never be closer to emulating 'The Creator' than when 'recreating' our species through orgasm. (Which is part of its psychological 'addiction') No matter what the age, this 'exquisite, excruciating' experience is far and away unlike any other. If it was not for 'Original Creation,' Evolution (through orgasm) would be thought of as"God." Emily Dickens once said;"parting is all we need to know of hell!" But perhaps now, armed with more 'salient' information, we will give each other 'another chance.' A chance to prove just how 'human' we are, without 'forever' separating because of it. Stay well
*Equality and Separation cannot exist in the same space* Jason Mraz
All The Best,
Henri W. Tartt
Supervising Chemist, and
Chief of Microbiology (Retired)
CITY OF Cleveland, Ohio (USA)
Email: henri@henriwtartt.com
Website: *Tartt's Scientific Approach*